Wednesday, December 13, 2017

attack of the horsefly...


So I was going to do a completely different post this evening. (I am in LOVE, LOVE, LOVE with a cute little sitcom called 9JKL. I think it’s a CBS show. And I’m not sure what night it comes on. Thursdays? Maybe. It’s about a Mom and Dad that live on the same floor in a high-rise building as their two sons. The oldest son is a heart surgeon. The younger son—the Mom’s favorite and everyone knows it—is an actor. Oldest=married with a son. Youngest=divorced. I think. Y’all would know ALL OF THESE ACTORS. Maybe not the wife of the oldest son. Elliott Gould is the Dad. Linda Lavin is the Mom. They are PERFECTION. I can’t get the sons names to come to my brain right now—but y’all know them. Trust me. The characters are perfection. The writing is HYSTERICAL. I laugh out loud. On my couch. The entire 22-ish minutes (I record it so I pass up 99% of the commercials.).

Sadly, I believe the last episode is this week. (Sorry I’m slow on sharing my excitement about this awesome TV show. If you have Netflix or can somehow watch it on some other service, please, PLEASE do. I would be shocked if you didn’t think it was as wonderful as I’m telling you.)

I am hoping and PRAYING this adorable show is renewed. If y’all have been reading our blog long, you know shows that we LOVE, LOVE, LOVE seem to get cancelled. This show is FABULOUS. Funny. Creative. Different! It should not get the ax/a pink slip.

Tonight I want to VENT/share/complain about a RAGING horsefly that literally attacked me this morning as I tried to get into my shower.

My Sweet Hubby (MSH) had left for town to get his haircut. It was about 8:00 a.m. I had the water on and was literally walking in when out flew this cRaZy and HUGE horsefly. (We don’t have a shower door. You walk into the shower and take a hard right. Now you’re in.) I screamed. SCREAMED. At the top of my old lungs. It scared me so much I thought I might have a heart attack. Or stroke.

It flew BACK INTO THE SHOWER. Waiting for me. I got my robe back on in milliseconds and ran to our utility room, which is where I keep two fly swatters. I grabbed the ugly one. (The cute one is animal print and it’s really just there to make me smile when I see it.)

I went back into our bathroom—peeked around the corner of the shower—and couldn’t see the evil horsefly anywhere. I hit the wall a couple of times with the swatter in order to make him (or her—whatever—makes no difference to me it was SATAN) hear and understand I had returned and was armed. And DANGEROUS. No sign of it/him/her. I put the swatter onto my husband’s sink counter and began to get back in.

IT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE and tried to attack me again! Y’all. I RAN. Grabbed my robe and ran into our bedroom. Screaming. Like a baby.

I. Was. Done. At this point, I decided I could not deal with this vicious insect. I went into our second guest room bathroom and took my shower in there. This third bathroom has two doors. Closed both as soon as I scurried in. I worried he’d/she’d fly in under one of the doors. I rushed my shower as fast as I could.

When I was finished, I went back into our bathroom to get my makeup on and do my hair. (I had a date with My Dear Friend Emily for a pedicure and lunch. I couldn’t miss it.) While finishing up my routine, I kept looking over at the shower. Wondering if he/she was still in there.

MSH got home about 8:20 and asked me why there was a fly swatter on his counter. I told him My Spellbinding Story. When I’d completed My Nightmare Tale, he shook his head and walked away. I couldn’t determine if he thought I’d made the story up or simply judged me to be silly and, well, a big ol’ CHICKEN Girl. Like I cared that he thought I was a out-of-control scaredy-cat.

I left at 9:40 and didn’t get back home until 3:00. At which time, MSH informed me of The Devil Horsefly’s DEATH. He’d kill him moments before I came in the house. I think MSH had a new-found respect for me. (Okay. Not. But at least he confirmed I didn’t dream up The Horrid Horsefly.)

Here’s hoping each of you has a Terrific Thursday manana—full of butterflies, redbirds and beautiful/regal EAGLES. NO HORSEFLIES or flying things that frighten the bejeebies out of you.

SMOOCHES and HUGS, Silly Friends Everywhere…

ELC

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