Happy Decade

Mostly, I don’t drink. Alcoholic beverages. Diet Mountain Dews—yes. Harvey Wallbangers—no. I might have half a glass of Pinot Grigio every two to three weeks. A very cold beer—so cold it’s got ice crystals in it—on a horrendously hot July or August day in Texas (especially if watching the Rangers) is never completely out of the question. But real drinks like Cosmos, Gimlets, Daiquiris, Margaritas, Martinis? Nope. Not interested. TLC’s Crack Brownies? Bread Pudding with Bourbon Sauce? Crème Brulee? Now we’re talkin’.

I have, however, always liked the concept of “Happy Hour.” Who doesn’t need a Happy Hour every now and then? The laughter—the bonding—the welcome distraction from our everyday lives—not a bad idea, overall. Being with friends—chillaxin’ (as TLC has taught me) and just generally letting go of cares and worries—for an hour or two—GREAT therapy. (As long as there is a Designated Driver. Seriously. Truly. Please.)

I say we need Happy Days! Happy Weeks!! Happy Months!!! This World could use a Bigtime Happy Decade—or Century. Soon.

Over the past 20 years or so, I've collected a few napkins—maybe not quite as many as my fridge magnets—but enough to tickle my funny side.

image via ELC

this is literally only 1/4th of my "collection"

notice 99.9% are unopened

Here are a few of my favorites:

“I’ll have a cafe mocha vodka valium latte to go, please!”

                        Leah Dylan, Mother of 5

(designed by Terri Puma Designs)

Exactly how much fun can I have before I go to Hell?

(Bad Girl Art by Lolly Lu)

To save time, let’s just assume I know everything.

                       

and . . .

I’m not a nag, I’m a motivational speaker.

(Got these two sets at Stein Mart—it's uncanny how true they are about moi. My Hubby would totally agree.)

Take yourself back in time to the 50s and picture two women, sitting on a couch—one is saying:

for the record… the only problem I have with alcohol is that I’m running low on vodka.

(designDESIGN)

Lauren recently gave me some charming little napkins by Lolita that have the recipe for a “Queen” drink, which consists of red wine, ginger ale (one of TLC’s most favorite choices when it comes to all things carbonated), lemon lime soda (I’d use Sprite, probably), a splash of OJ and a lemon twist. YUMMO. The napkins have several different crowns on them with the word Queen everywhere. Perfect for Queen B.! (That’s moi, remember?!)

My newest napkins were gifted to me by TLC for Mom’s Day and say:

All I want is

WORLD PEACE

and a Pedicure

(Naughty Betty for Inviting Company and hot! Plate Designs—just these names crack me up.)

Sounds heavenly and is exactly what I do always want—peace and pedicures. Absolutely.

I don’t just collect funny Happy Hour napkins. I also have some pretty special and/or sweet and/or cute birthday, shower, wedding, general etc. napkins. If I didn’t buy any more for about five years, I’d probably be good to go.

Now, if I could actually share any of these precious napkins with guests, it would be great! I basically take them out of my Hutch drawer occasionally, look at them, giggle, then put them right back. Hence my growing-out-of-control collection.

Maybe I should open up a Fridge Magnet/Silly Napkins Shop? I’d need a catchy name. And I suppose I’d have to actually, probably sell a few of them—eventually. No, never mind.

Gotta scoot… it’s 5:00 o’clock… somewhere…