Monday, May 15, 2017

the battle line...


As I’ve shared, I (try try TRY) to read the Bible every day. And I have 3 special prayer books I pray from. I also read the daily devotional from Jesus Calling and then a page or two from Jesus Today—both of those by Sarah Young.

Yesterday (Mother’s Day), I didn’t read from any of them. I slept late. Late for me. I said my personal prayers when I woke up. Showered. Washed my hair. Got ready for the day. Believing—TRULY BELIEVING—I was going to read from the Bible and my prayer books later in the morning. (That is ALWAYS a mistake. It very rarely happens. Sigh.)

As it turned out, I made some bad choices/decisions yesterday. I won’t go into every one of them. There were several. There were many things I could’ve/should’ve done—including just resting. RESTING. The next two weeks are going to be fairly brutal on/for me and My Sweet Hubby (MSH). They involve family ceremonies/celebrations. Lots of driving. Helping. Organizing. More activity—in a short span of time—than we’ve been used to for quite awhile. Instead of acknowledging that and taking the opportunity to be LAZY—I asked MSH to go to Granbury—to a nursery—to let me pick out some plants to pot on our front porch. The round trip took almost three hours.

S.T.U.P.I.D. Unnecessary. Ridiculous. Nothing went the way I expected. Nothing. Most especially the time it took to get all the work done. Once back home. I ended up being cranky. Rude. Impatient. Ungrateful. To MSH. To myself. (I even said some cuss words I NEVER EVER EVER should say. I didn't say them to anyone in particular. Just out loud. Not loudly. However, very firmly.) I was beyond wrong. And ashamed of my awful, pathetic attitude. Happy Mother’s Day. Happy Sunday. Sheesh.

Of course, I asked God and Jesus, over and over and over, to please forgive me. I did get in a better place. Eventually. Luckily, MSH was more than willing to move on past my "spell." 

I was totally tired and exhausted by 5:00. At 6:00, I’d fallen asleep on the couch. At 8:45, I woke up, washed my face and got into my jammies. I was in bed by 9:00.  (MSH had been sound asleep for over an hour.) I slept until 5:45 this morning. Straight through the night. Very unusual for This Old Gal. Pooped is not good for me. Clearly.

After finishing The Book of Ezra, I picked up my little prayer book entitled: Praying Through the Tough Times. By Lloyd John Ogilvie. Here’s what I read:

 

WHEN I WONDER IF GOD CARES IF I HAVE PROBLEMS


Dear God, years of wrestling with problems have convinced me of a fact of life: I’m like most people in facing one momentous problem—the failure to understand that there is a positive and redemptive purpose to every one of the problems I face. I’m tempted to believe that there is something inherently bad about problems because they often involve me in an inconvenient interruption of my plans for a smooth and successful life.

 

Problems involve me in unpleasant pressures, distressing conflict, or in physical or emotional pain. I think that freedom from problems should be a reward for hard work, careful planning, and clear thinking. I struggle through the stages of life, battling the problems of getting an education, finding a job, developing a career, raising a family, making ends meet, and eventually retiring. At each stage I look forward to the next period as a time when the problems of life will be behind me. Most disturbing is the assumption that if I love You, commit my life to You, and diligently try to serve You, You will work things out so I don’t have problems.

 

In this prayer, I want to separate myself from this crowd of people with these perceptions about problems. Your purposes are not thwarted by problems. I’m certain that when You allow a problem, it’s because You want me to grow as a person. Actually, often problems define the battle line of Your transforming encounter with ignorance, pride, selfishness, laziness, and resistance to growth. Problems help me reach out to You and allow You to help me find a creative solution and take the next step to becoming a more dynamic person. There’s no problem too big for the two of us to solve together! Amen.

 

All I can think, at this point today, is I must have GROWN A LOT yesterday as a person. I sure as heck hope so.

Y’all have a Marvelous Monday—Wherever in this World you are! (Be nice to yourself and others. Please.)

smooches and hugs,

ELC

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