Mustaches and Fake Lashes

Seems as if TLC has been looking at the pictures of us with the funny glasses—those to the right—every time she makes a post. Apparently, she feels I took an unflattering picture of her. Is she serious? We have plastic glasses on with big noses and mustaches.

She’s afraid y’all might judge her hair to be flat. It’s wet. She had just had a bath and I had washed her hair. So let me get this straight: she’s concerned about her hair? Has she even noticed mine?

We took these pictures for a silly Valentine’s Day gift for my husband 23 years ago. I took her picture and she took mine. She did do a good job, considering she was four! My eyelashes almost look fake, don’t they? In fact, my friend, Sunny, commented on that immediately. Alas, they don’t look like that now. I’m 57. I have 3 on each lid.

These are in a small, cute frame in my husband’s office on the credenza behind his desk. Instead of a circle for each picture, there are two little hearts. Is that tres sweet, or what? When I told him I needed to copy them for our Blog, he looked at me with his “serious husband/Dad” look and said:

“Make sure you give them back to me pretty quick. Please don’t forget.”

He’s a keeper.

Okay, yes, so I almost took the tip of one of TLC’s fingers off when I was trying to cut her nails. She was three weeks old. It was my first trim. I was very nervous, but I had to do it—she was scratching her little angel face with them. Her Dad refused to even try. I felt horrible. I stressed for an hour—while we waited for the bleeding and her incredibly powerful screaming to stop—about what I was going to tell them at the ER. Fortunately, we didn’t have to go and I became much better at this un-fun job.

And, yes, she has heard I rescued her right before she ate a worm. She had gotten out of my sight for a few seconds one morning. We’d had a lot of rain and one little Earth worm had worked his way under a door. She was eight months old and some kind of a fast crawler—Olympic fast (more on her athletic abilities in later posts). I got there in time and, YUCK, pulled all of it out of her mouth. I’m pretty sure it was all of it.

And, okay, yes, yes, I have many old VHS tapes of TLC in some pretty quirky outfits and other questionable hairdos. (It was the 80s and mullets were in!) I've been known to try to make others watch these videos. (No takers in the past 10 years, sadly.)

But I doubt even one of y’all said, “My, what’s up with that TLC’s hair?”

I concede, TLC. I could have taken a few moments to dry your hair or French-braid it. Don’t pout. I don’t want to have to turn this car around.  I have LOTS more pictures where that came from.

(It's true. I don’t know how to get them on our Blog. Only she knows how to do that. If her picture goes missing, we’ll know who did it. And why.)

ttfn . . .

The Makeup Shirt

Growing up, I remember watching ELC getting ready in the morning… for the day… for church… for bridge.  It’s funny how many of her habits I have picked up.  We love our hairspray.  Vita/e, to be exact.  Unfortunately, that hairspray gets everywhere.  On everything.  It completely “gunks up” our bathrooms and clothes.  I know we’re not the only Southern women addicted to our hairspray and suffering from chronic stickiness.  That’s why this post is here to save the day! 

We’ve all heard the quote, “The higher the hair, the closer to God.”  Well, it takes a lot of Vita/e to get our hair high.  So, ELC came up with two solutions to remedy the gunky hairspray problem:

1. The Makeup Shirt.
2. Plastic dry cleaners' bags.

I’m not sure where Mom came up with the idea for the Makeup Shirt (though I think she’ll be sharing that story soon).  For as long as I can remember, she’s always worn it when she puts her makeup on and rolls her hair.  When Dad tires of one of his standard oxford shirts (chambray blue or white), ELC will take one, cut the sleeves off, and VOILA!  A Makeup Shirt is born!

When I started wearing makeup, ELC created a Makeup Shirt for me.  While the primary function is to keep hairspray off of our clothes, we do call them Makeup Shirts and not “Clothes Shirts” or “Hairspray Shirts.”  Go figure.  However, it will also keep makeup – blush, powder, and eyeshadow – off whatever you have on.  Bonus!  Double-duty.  Who couldn’t appreciate that?

Here are a few pictures of my “current” Makeup Shirt.  ELC made this one for me about 4 years ago.  She wants me to make sure y'all know she realizes she's not that artistic or crafty.  We have no plans to sell these on Etsy any time soon.  My hubby cracks up every time he sees me wearing this.  Perhaps it’s the quotes in laundry marker.  Or the frayed edges.

The shirt:

Close-up shots of the front:

TLC’s Fabulous Makeup Shirt!

Because… sticky hairspray on your clothes is YUCKY…
and she wants to be just like her Mom!

The back:

Thanks, Dad!!! (for the shirt!)

It’s not easy to be Glamorous!

“Pretty is as pretty does.”  -- Nana

(Now I wish I would have ironed this shirt before I posted pictures.  LOL.  I am my mother's daughter.  We even iron our pillowcases.  That's a whole other post, though.)

And, finally, what to do with the plastic bags that come with your dry cleaning:  Before you begin spraying, place a couple of bags on top of your counters.  These can be easily folded up and kept in a drawer or under your sink when not in use.  I give you my word – the bags will definitely help keep your bathroom countertops less icky.  Which makes for easy cleaning.  Which means more time for Twilight or Housewives or Etsy shopping.  Girl Scouts’ honor.  I was one, so I can give you that “honor.”  Okay.  Okay.  I only made it through Brownies.

You will need to get new plastic bags every month or so.  And the Makeup Shirts can be washed over and over again with your towels.  You’ll only need a new one when the already worn out shirt finally shreds.

Happy hairspraying!