The Royal Luncheon

A week ago this past Tuesday, I had the privilege of attending lunch at Queen Autumn’s Castle, which, by the way, has a moat! (Well, okay—it’s not technically a moat. She and her King Hubby live on a beautiful canal that comes off one of the prettiest and most popular lakes in all of The Land of Texas. For purposes of this post, it’s a moat. Go with it.)

I’m happy to direct y’all to Out to Lunch, in August of 2011, where I attempted to explain how amazingly talented Autumn truly is. Her home is magazine-worthy awesome. Full of rich colours (fancy spelling), fabulous textures and exquisite design, one find’s oneself grateful to be sitting in her den, gazing out at her magnificent outdoor kitchen, stunning fountain and the aforementioned moat, wishing one never had to leave. Right as we sat down to eat, a pelican landed near their dock. A pelican! They have Ducks, Unlimited. Autumn was, as always, very gracious about the sixty that appeared on our tank in November, but I realize they were like a droplet of water in an ocean to her ducks. They often have geese and cranes, too. It’s a virtual Bird Sanctuary, it is (please think/say this like Bert in Mary Poppins, if you don’t mind too terribly much—should be a piece of scone for our Brit readers).

I confess. I had, technically, invited myself to The Royal Luncheon. I know y’all must be shocked. You no doubt believe I at least attempt to display impeccable manners at all times. (I’m one-quarter English, for Pete’s sake. Social Graces are in my "Sky" Blue Blood.) I absolutely know proper etiquette. Well, 95% of the time. Okay, 80% of the time. 70% and that’s my final answer. Allow me, now, to explain:

I had to be in Autumn’s general vicinity for some errands. When I realized that, I’d emailed her, arranging to go to meet, for the first time…wait for it…

trumpet announcement please. . .

Princess Kate!

I’ve known Queen Autumn’s Precious Pooch—The Duchess of Clooney, or simply Clooney to her humble subjects—for five-ish years. She's Autumn’s adorable Cocker Spaniel. Named after—well, seriously, I have complete faith you can figure out who The Queen’s favorite actor is, right?

Upon arrival around noonish at Autumn’s Castle (I had my chauffeur stop at a Subway near her Estate so her Staff could have the day off and I could treat her to lunch. It was the least I could do.), I was introduced to the sweetest, darling-est, most yummiest Cavalier King Charles Spaniel puppy EVER born.

It is with immense pleasure I now share pictures of Princess Kate and Duchess Clooney:

Princess Kate (and her snazzy red bows!)

Duchess Clooney taking a little snooze as Princess Kate poses poshly for the camera.

The Royal Luncheon wore Princess Kate plum out!

MERCI, Autumn, for a simply lovely day at your elegant home. I’m grateful for the devinely delightful memory…

Hugs and Smooches, Pooches,

ELC

Must Love . . . John

Cusack. Of course! Three-ish weeks ago, as I scrolled the Directv guide one evening, I noticed Must Love Dogs would be on later that night. One of his most charming movies. TLC and I had gone to the theater (in 2005—I actually didn’t remember the year—had to research!) to see it. We—DUH—ADORED it.  Hit RECORD on the remote and I had that puppy DVRed—STAT. A few nights later, as I was having trouble going to sleep, I remembered it. Headed directly to the couch.  Although I had to fast forward through commercials (exhausting work—particularly in the wee hours of the morning), I smiled, giggled, laughed out loud and cried for approximately two hours. If I hadn’t finally fallen asleep, I might have watched it again.

TLC and I talk every morning as she heads to work. Sometimes I have notes for myself. Seriously. Seriously sad. But my (and her) reality. Notes about things I want to tell and/or ask her. If I have no notes or profound observations or revelations to share (and, Lord knows, she ain’t gonna talk much—somehow I had a child that is NOT an a.m. peepster like her Mama), I catch her up on the local (Dallas/Ft. Worth) or national news. I can never, ever, EVER scoop TLC on celebrity minutiae. She apparently has a direct phone line to TMZ and People.  Only hours after I'd watched MLD, I reminded her of some of the cute/sweet moments in it. She’d say “awww” at all of the appropriate paw-ses. Tee Hee Hee. I can't be sure she was listening. I can never be quite sure of that. She did bring up another John Cusack movie we treasure: Serendipity. Everyone SIGH. One of our all-time favourite-est movies. Yours, too, I'd bet.

Three other fantastic Cusack movies (two are pretty violent--sometimes I simply have to be tough for the greater good) we've enjoyed immensely with Our Fellas are Con Air, The Thin Red Line and Eight Men Out. Escaped convicts on a crashing airplane (I shudder as I type). War. Baseball. All what I’d call “guy” kind o’ movies. All amazing.

Caveat (isn’t this the fancy way to say BTW?): I probably haven’t seen half of the movies he’s made. There are oodles. Upon poodles. I recommend taking a few minutes to Google, at this point, to be reminded of John Cusack's "works of art." These are six that stand out to me as extraordinarily and fabulously entertaining.

What TLC and I both agree we truly admire about him? He seems to have successfully avoided the trap too many actors/celebrities fall into—the one where they believe they're exempt from being responsible, accountable, grateful human beings. In other words, he seems like he's a truly nice man. Someone you'd have a blast playing Apples to Apples with on a cold, winter’s Saturday night with your family and friends.

TLC and I talked about our precious/silly/cRaZy dogs until she arrived at her job’s parking garage. I'm always sad when it’s time to hang up.

COMING SOON to a LOL website nearest you: The Royal Luncheon. Starring Princess Kate and Duchess Clooney!  

(Puppy) Chow for Now, Y’all . . .

p.s.--Want to visit an INCREDIBLE Classic Movies website? Click on Patti's http://www.classicmoviesnippets.blogspot.com/

Four Yeehaws!

Because it’s the 4^th! Seriously, is it February? Sheesh.

So I’m not one for expensive beauty “regimens.” Not only do I get bored easily, but I’m tres susceptible to the latest/newest ad-campaign “promises.” Plus, I like bargains. Maybe “bargains” isn’t exactly the right word. Maybe I should say I love to spend my budgeted beauty dollars on “value.” Getting the best bang for my bucks.

I want to share two products I MUST have and two I’ve just discovered, but that I already enjoy:

{First, a reminder—like TLC or y’all could ever possibly forget—I am a Senior Citizen. Not a “Foxy Senior Citizen.” Simply old enough to get the Senior Discount at 75% of the places—for those of us 55 or older—I go. Young enough to resent it. I woke up the day after I turned 40 and saw them. Crows’ feet. I woke up the day after I turned 43 and couldn’t read—not a newspaper. Not a book. Nothin’. Not unless I held said paper three feet from my face. I became forced to welcome into my life The Bifocal Decades. The good news was that I could no longer see my crows’ feet. The day after my 47^th birthday? The beginning of Gobble Neck. Lovely. At 53? Saw my first “brown spot.” On my face. Thank you, Lord. Thank you for reminding me that Youth is fleeting and Old Age means a stronger commitment to the cosmetic industry. If I can find a way to “treat” these fabulous “aging” symptoms, like brown spots, with something over-the-counter? Yep, I’m goin’ for it.}

I’ve discovered and have been using, for about five months, Skin Renew/Dark Spot Corrector, by Garnier. You’ll notice ads for this in all the womens’ magazines. Clearly their marketing gurus got to moi—and my pocketbook. Despite my contention there must be a better description/phrase than "dark spots." Yuck. I contend it’s helping mine. In fact, I’ve been doing my own little scientific experiment—watching, specifically, a delightful caramel-colored circle on my left mid-(face)cheek. When I first noticed it, it was the size of a pea. Green. Not English. Now it’s almost gone! Especially if I leave my bifocals off when I look into my 10x magnifying mirror. For what it cost at the drug store, I definitely think it’s worth a try. I intend to buy another tube soon, since I find many companies are determined to discontinue the products I like the most. (And here, now, is an ELC’s Example, mixed in with this Yeehaw: Companies that take away the things we absolutely depend on and must have? UNFAIR. Exactly--one more thing that's wrong with this World.)

I’ve been using Aveeno Ultra-Calming Daily Moisturizer for about three years. The bottle clearly states it is “clinically proven to visibly reduce redness” and “soothe irritated or sensitive skin.” Do I think it’s true? I've used it faithfully. It hasn't made my senstive skin any redder. I like it. Nuff said.

My two new finds:

Skinnygirl Tinted Daily Moisturizer. It’s from Bethanny! The World’s GREATEST Skinny Girl! And it’s located in the Wally World near you. How convenient is that? Head towards the pharmaceutical/cosmetic section and Voila! You should be able to find this at the end of a makeup aisle. I’m thinking there were about six shades. I got “Sand.” Upon opening it, I discovered it has a “brush.” I’m completely hip on/to? foundation/tinted moisturizer brushes. Sponges. Etc. TLC uses them. These devices really get that makeup/tinted moisturizer deep down into one's skin—smoothing out the majority of one’s problem areas.  I actually prefer using my fingertips to apply foundation/tinted moisturizer. I squeezed a small amount into the brush (you have no choice) and then, after applying it to my forehead, nose and chin, used my fingers to finish the process. I liked the almost powdery—though not dry at all—look and feel of this tint. (Do consider waiting to have a Skinny Girl Margarita before applying this, or any other, makeup product).

Y’all might remember how I pushed—I meant to type liked—Revlon’s PhotoReady makeup? Imagine my excitement two weeks ago when I noticed Emma Stone’s television ad for Revlon’s Photoready Airbrush Mousse Makeup. AIRBRUSH? Mousse? PRAISE THE LORD and HALLELUJAH! Finally, finally, at the young age of 57 years, I get to look like a model—and put on makeup I’d consider eating, too! I feel as though I’m sounding sarcastic. I honestly don’t mean to.

1. TLC and I adore Emma Stone. If you don’t (and I’m talking to both you men and women), I’m sorry to tell you, but something is off and you might need to get that checked out.
2. I still truly like the original PhotoReady makeup and will keep alternating it in my beauty regimen.
3. This moussier makeup is even lighter/air brushier than the aforementioned product, hence an overall dreamier experience and look. I plan to use it on the days I'm channeling Emma and feel extra wispy.

WARNING: There is a WARNING on the back of the Airbrush bottle.

I got my magnifying glass out to see what was under the scary red fire sign:

CAUTION, it says:

“DO NOT SPRAY ON A NAKED FLAME.”

I can’t make this stuff up and HUH? Who knew there are flames and then there are naked flames? Yikes.

I was a tidbit taken aback when I first noticed the warning—and, yes, it was after I’d put the makeup on (I’ve lived with a man for almost 34 years—I occasionally don’t read instructions first). But then, after having a long talk with TLC about my concerns, we decided there are tons o’ products out there that are “flammable.” FIRST and FOREMOST? Hairspray. Duh. We heart BIG TEXAS HAIR. It’s really quite simple: DON’T hold flammable things near any kind of flame/flames, naked or clothed, you and/or the flames, and everything will be fine.

ELC’s WARNING about this particular product:

There is no need to shake it, like you usually do with most foundations. It doesn’t say to shake it up in the directions—that I could see. With my bifocals. BUT—be extra careful about pressing on the top of the bottle. It semi-pops out like a big, bubbly balloon. I’m not convinced I didn’t use up half the bottle the first time I tried it. I’d suggest Revlon put a warning on the top of the bottle to “press lightly and fast. Do NOT hold down.” The second time I used it I was careful-er (go ahead—use this word three times tomorrow and see how many people correct your grammar—it’ll be interesting) and it worked better-er. It’s like your Mom tries to teach you: You can always put a little more on (this applies to many, many things in life—not just makeup), but it’s harder to put something back into a bottle once it’s out. Amen.

Are you now wondering: WHY doesn’t ELC buy one good makeup foundation product, even if it costs $40 to $100, and be done with it? Wouldn’t she be ahead of her “budget” game? Possibly. You could have a point and it might be something My Sweet Hubby has (patiently) discussed with me. The real question is: Could I have as much fun? Answer: Nope.

BTW: NO ONE pays me for these product endorsements. No one pays TLC and/or me anything for any of our Yummies or Yeehaws. Call us cRaZy, but we don't think we'd ever have the nerve to even ask.

ta-ta for now, Darlings . . .

Mommy-To-Be Musings

1. "Pregnancy Brain" does exist. Yes, yes, ELC, it does. Apparently ELC, albeit gently, speculates I am using this as an excuse to shirk my blog posting duties. If only, Grammy. It's not a myth. And I've got it. BAD. So much so I forgot to put on deodorant and perfume one day last week. TMI? I'm sorry. You can understand why I'm now slightly paranoid – the more pregnant and thus more pregnant-brained I become – I could forget my clothes. That would not be pretty, y'all.

2. Morning sickness is a ridiculous label. I've never been sick in the morning. The evenings? A whole other story, my friends. I think we should just call it what it is – nasty nausea – and move on down the road.

3. Where have maternity pants been all of my life? I don't know how I'll ever go back to wearing "regular” jeans. I’m catching ELC eyeing them with envy.

4. I'm a walking cliché of cravings: sour pickles and a chocolate chip cookie cake. And mustard (no, not mustard on the cookies – not yet, anyway). Potato chips dipped in mustard. And cupcakes. Any kind.

5. I miss my Diet Vanilla Cokes (or "DVCs" as ELC and I lovingly labeled them) from Sonic. I know caffeine is tres bad, so instead I sip on grape juice and Pellegrino. Not quite the same but still pretty tasty and fizzy.

6. Waking up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (no less than three times in approximately seven hours) is dangerous. I run into the door on my way back to bed, causing me to say words a soon-to-be new Mommy should never get in the habit of saying. I'm now trying to practice my "mummy walk" (pun intended) – arms stretched completely straight out in front of me as I try to locate the door in the dark. Thank goodness no one has videoed that scene yet.

7. Hmmm. I know I thought of something else to list as I was driving home this evening. Now I can't remember what it was. See #1.