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Wednesday, January 4, 2012

E is for...

In addition to our Yeehaws, Yummies, and Yumhaws, I would like to introduce (drum roll, please):

ELC’s Examples

Beginning at about age 5, we start hearing “older” peeps complain that there are too many wrong things happening. They say (a lot):

“This is an example of what’s wrong with Our World.”

I was realizing I’d forgotten to follow-up on what I was going to call my “Soapbox” post. After our Newport Rhode Trip. (Never fear—that’s a comin’!) But, as TLC and I were tooling around her Neck-O'-the-Woods this past Monday, I found myself telling her, several times: “See? This is what’s wrong with Our World.”

Example #1: We were in a big, nice, crowded Mall for a few hours. As we went from store to store (looking for—you guessed it—baby “stuff”), I told her I truly despised being “tailgated” by other shoppers.

TLC: What do you mean?
ELC: I mean, those people who get right on your “tail” and think they’re going to make you walk faster because they’re in a hurry.
TLC: Hmmm. I’ve never had this happen to me.
ELC: Seriously? Yes, yes you have. UNLESS, YOU are one of those Mall/Wally World/Grocery Store Tailgaters. When it happens to me, it only makes me more determined to walk even SLOWER.
TLC: No. I don’t think I’m “one of those tailgaters,” ELC. But I’ll try to be aware of this clearly frustrating situation. Now stop acting like a Geezette.

People need to slow down, I say. Nothing good ever comes from going fast. NOTHING. Trust me on this. I can give you at least thirty major times I should have SLOWED DOWN in the past 34 years. I’m not just talkin’ driving, either. Walking. Cleaning. Talking. Etc.

Example #2: Every time I venture over to TLC’s casa, I am treated rudely by many drivers. In fact, if I’m not shot The Bird at least three times during a round trip, I feel I haven’t done my job as a Senior Citizen. But this is an example of what truly gets me:

Two trips back, I was heading home after a lovely day with TLC and Her Sweet Hubby. It was dusk-ish. I was on the George Bush Tollway (see TLC’s post Hail to the Chief on February 20th). The speed limit is currently 70 on that cRaZy highway. I was actually doing 74. I was in the left hand lane (of three lanes), because I could see several cars in the middle lane going slower than me. I wanted to pass them. As I approached the first car on my right, a car behind me, a new Mustang driven by a guy, 25 to 33ish in age, was right on my bumper. DANGEROUSLY close. He got so frustrated with me for not going 80mph, he veered into the middle lane and drove between me and the car I was trying to pass. He could have killed all of us if I hadn’t taken my foot off my accelerator. As he turned back in front of me, he held up his right arm—middle finger arrogantly aimed at me. He kept this display up for several seconds. He even turned around to make sure I could see how angry he was. What a fabulous idea. To take your eyes off the road in front of you. As you’re driving 80mph down a crowded highway. To make sure you’re obscene gesture is fully appreciated by the Poor Little Senior Citizen Lady.

I wasn’t going 60. 65. Even 70. I was going 74mph. RUDE, I tell you. Unnecessarily rude. And THIS is a perfect example of what is wrong with Our World. Period. End of story.

(Now I’m sure y’all will be anxiously awaiting more “examples” of my frustrations. I'm also confident you'll each be determined to do your part to make Our World a better, safer, fairer, SLOWER-paced and tres happier place. Okay? PLEASE.)



autumn said...

I look forward to your future examples. And I pray at least one of them involves Hellmart. Oops, can I say that?

The Leightons said...

Oh, my, Autumn. How could I not have some "examples" from Hellmart/Wally World? Seriously.

Of course, I go there looking FABULOUS. Because I live in FEAR of someone taking my picture. Ending up as a People of Walmart person. YIKES.

Thank you for your ever-constant encouragement!