Twenty Years From Now...

Twenty years from now

you will be more disappointed

by the things that you didn’t do

than by the ones you did do.

So throw off the bowlines.

Sail away from the safe harbor.

Catch the trade wind in your sails.

Explore. Dream. Discover.

                                             --Mark Twain

There are hundreds—thousands—of wonderful “New Year” quotes. I loved this one. Which is kind of strange, since I’m very afraid of water. Well, being in water. Not showers, baths or swimming pools, Sillies. I’m talkin’ lakes, big bays. Oceans? YIKES. The whole shark thing, you know. Actually, I need to be able to see where I am. Guess it’s become a control issue. But I love Mark Twain. (Who doesn’t?) His inspiring words seemed to speak to me today.

January 1, 2012.

Rather than bore y’all with resolutions I probably won’t keep—very long, or at all—I thought I’d tell you what I think/hope/believe/feel/suggest 2012 will be. For TLC. For moi. Maybe for you, too.

2012 will be The Year of Baby C! TLC’s first child. The thought of this makes me get weepy. It also causes me to giggle and smile. Not just with my mouth and lips—but with my heart. And soul. It makes me giddy—yep, giddy—with excitement! I believe she’ll cherish every moment of anticipation with awe, humor and wonder. (At some point, she might quit saying: I look fat, don’t I? You think I’m fat, don’t you? No, TLC. I don’t think you look fat. I think you look cute. Happy. Darling. Precious. I promise.)

2012 will be the year TLC’s life changes. Forever. In the most touching, sweet, scary, tiring, cRaZy, silly, challenging, tiring, confusing, incredible, delightful, tiring, funny, special, marvelous, tiring, and glorious way! I’ll be there with her. For every fabulous moment. For those not-so-fabulous moments, too. Understanding, encouraging and helping her with the difficult stuff. It’ll all be okay, TLC. Trust me.  

2012 will be a year of continued challenges for me. Aging is a weird process. You look in the mirror and you can’t quite believe the way your face, hair, teeth, neck and body are all doing things you wish they wouldn’t do. And yet, as you peer at the picture of yourself—through your often droopy, puffy and crinkly eyes—you realize you are actually looking at unconditional gratitude. For every line you see, there was laughter. Joy. Heartache you overcame—eventually. Fear you faced. Pain through which you trudged with determination and perseverance. Okay, yes, and maybe a few cuss words. Cancer? Been there. Sudden, unexplained and permanent deafness? Been there, too. Sheesh. First broken bone at age 55? Yep. Done that. Necessary—and unnecessary—losses? Of course. Survived.

In my mirror, I see me. Younger. Middle-aged. Older. Chubby. Wrinkly. Saggy. Achy. Forgetful. Cranky. Alive and, mostly, well. I see my past. I see me here—in the present. I see the probability I won’t look any better or younger when I get up tomorrow, but I’m trusting there will be a tomorrow. I catch a glimpse of the Grateful Me. The person that, for now, at least, can see several things clearly. The most important thing I've learned? That all that ever really matters, at the end of the day, is I’m lucky to get continued chances to try harder and do better.

My Faith may occasionally waver, but it never completely abandons me. There have been hundreds of worries that were unfounded. Unfortunately, there have been a few worries that were founded. After sleepness nights and endless days, they dissolved into inevitable acceptance. As long as I’m breathing, there will be more worries. Darnitall.

I pray to my Lord God Above that as 2012 progresses each minute, hour, day, week, and month, He helps and guides Our Country. Our World. The Leaders of Our World. He gives us all strength. Peace. Hope. Love. Forgiveness. Amen.

TLC and I wish each of you a breathtakingly exquisite 2012!

Happy New Year! Happy Ever After, Dear Friends… Everywhere!